tapes

Battle of the Breakfast Bands:
Jay-Z vs. Beastie Boys

BATTLE OF THE BREAKFAST BANDS – WHERE THERE ARE NO RULES. ONLY TWO BANDS. AND BREAKFAST.

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What I ate: A waffle sandwich consisting of two waffles, some sausage, and a fried egg. Plus green grapes. And two cups of black coffee.

Time: 7:44 a.m.

Location: My kitchen, Midwest, USA, with my wife and our two kids.

Anything out of ordinary: I don’t feel international when I eat waffles.

Facing off: Beastie Boys – “Super Disco Breakin’/The Move” vs. Jay-Z – “On to the Next One”

Reason for choosing: I was craving some up-tempo breakfast bounce after last week’s snoozy Bowie-Radiohead face-off.

Winner: Beastie Boys

Why: Once again, the temperature gauge on the Fan-o-Meter was controlled by my kids. My one-year-old “waved her hands in the air like she just didn’t care” about her blueberries. Then, my six-year-old leapt from her stool, ditching her whipped cream-shrouded waffle to dance.

Instant dancing makes Beasties the clear winner. Even I had to join in. To be fair, Beasties actually got two songs. But what could I do? Opening track “Super Disco Breakin'” bleeds right into “The Move” and these girls were jamming. I couldn’t harsh their groove.

“On to the Next One” is a fantastic video visually but it just didn’t make the breakfast grade. Thirty seconds into this track, my eldest couldn’t find her happy place, demanding, “Put the first song back on, Daddy.” It was a proverbial gong. My wife indicated this Jay-Z selection was a little dark and perhaps better for driving around late at night to contemplate more serious topics.

I’m learning for a second time, song choice is key to keeping my family happy at the breakfast table.

As for Mr. Carter? He has a 100th problem. He lost BBB.

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BATTLE OF THE BREAKFAST BANDS – WHERE THERE ARE NO RULES. ONLY TWO BANDS. AND BREAKFAST.

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Other Battles:

David Bowie vs. Radiohead

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Art courtesy of dubassy/Shutterstock.com