THE GREAT WALL II: Trump’s Folly

Yimou Zhang’s “The Great Wall,” starring Matt Damon, has already grossed $148M in its native China, nearly matching its hefty $150M budget.

Who knew, though, that Universal’s “The Great Wall” might be the most political movie of the year, heck, maybe even the century?

While it doesn’t open in the United States until the middle of February, if Russia’s  America’s president Electoral-elect, Donald Trump, has his way, another wall, The Hate Wall of America, will be constructed at lightning speed, blocking spectacular views of the mighty Rio Grande from California to Texas. Say, can’t we just widen the river? Perhaps make it the world’s biggest, best, fastest and most exhilarating waterslide, or something, with a gigantic net at the end of it?

WWJWD? What Would John Wayne Do?

In the days of Wayne, he who had the biggest saddle had the smallest gun. Today, people rig their vehicles with gigantic tires to make up for lack of size, others, with massive insecurities and infinitesimal peckers, build gigantic walls.

Little known fact: Emperor Qin Shi Huang, 1st emperor of China, had a tiny wang, too. Have no fear about Trump’s Wall of Folly, David Hasselhoff will take this one down, too. You can’t stop The Hoff!

That said, parts of the Great Wall of China were built BC, you know, in a time before catapults, cars, planes, boats, jet packs and the heavy-duty variety of shovel, sledgehammer or tree trimmer that you can now get—without any sort of registry or documentation, mind you—at your local ACE hardware store.