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The 5 Worst Video Game Adaptations Of All-Time

All your base are belong to us. <00101010100101011> Does not compute.

Who are we kidding?!? There aren’t five good video game adaptations. Let’s hope and pray that the adaptations of “Halo,” “Warcraft,” “Rampage,” and “Assassin’s Creed” actually live up to their programmers’ ideals, because sinking $100M into a sinkhole is a lot like burying tens of thousands of video games in a dump in New Mexico.

Some studio will crack the video game adaption code at some point, as Nintendo and its characters are just waiting to Marvel-ize. It’s the golden goose…and when the right team of producers, actors, and filmmakers get it right, it will be massive.

For now though, let’s concentrate on the bloody box office past, and look at what are the five worst adaptations. Not easy to do, considering there are so many bad ones to choose from.

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5. DOUBLE DRAGON (1994) – This was a really cool game, and a seriously uncool movie. Robert Patrick, Scott Wolf, and Alyssa Milano were in this? Whaaaaaaaa? Boot to the head.

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4. PRINCE OF PERSIA (2010)– I’m not sure how Disney got this wrong with a bronzed and buff Jake Gyllenhaal in the lead, but they did. Like the sands of an hourglass…this sucked from top to bottom.

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3. WING COMMANDER (1999) –  Freddie Prinze Jr. in space. Nuff said. 

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2. SUPER MARIO BROS. (1993)– Sadly, it’s not even so bad that it’s good.  It’s just really, really, really bad. As good as Dennis Hopper is as the baddie in “Speed” and “Waterworld,” he’s just plain awful here. This needs a reboot, in the worst way. 

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1. NEED FOR SPEED (2014)– Total wipeout. Crash n’ burn. Not only does it play like a cheap-o “Fast & Furious” rip-off, but it made Aaron Paul cry multiple times. Probably because it waylaid his film career before it even hit second gear. 

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Jeff Bock, NewsWhistle’s movie editor, is the senior box office analyst at Exhibitor Relations in Los Angeles, California. He can be reached at Jeff@NewsWhistle.com.

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Need For Speed Poster Image Courtesy of DreamWorks Studios; Poster Design by BLT Communications.