SHARK SANDWICH – ALBUM REVIEWS, MAY 13, 2016, Vol. 7

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Music reviews come in all sizes, but you’re busy and do not have time for flowery language… or sentences, really.

Spinal Tap gave the world the greatest album review of all time:

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Welcome to our “Shark Sandwich” — razor-sharp reviews that sum up an album in five sentences or less.

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Meghan Trainor – Thank You

Meghan Trainor is back and she is still “All About That Bass.” She is loving life, herself, and couldn’t care less about what you think. This is propulsive pop for the positive set. Welcome to the BBQ, summer jams!

Rating: 3 out 5 whistles

Best Song: “I Love Me”

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Hooded Fang – Venus On Edge

Nervy Canadian rockers, Hooded Fang, returned this week in a big way with Venus On Edge. Their brand of busy, trebly song spasms are sure to give you the rock sweats. Listening to them is like designer-drug withdrawal, and I mean that in the best possible way. Play this at your BBQ only if you know your audience.

Rating: 3.5 out 5 whistles

Best Song: “Miscast”

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Trashcan Sinatras – Wild Pendulum

You know that all the best music comes out of Scotland, right? Listen to Trashcan Sinatras if you need help answering. They have been around forever, and you haven’t been bothered to check them out yet, shame on you.  Don’t dwell on it too much, though. Just put on Wild Pendulum for your BBQ’s after party.

Rating: 4 out 5 whistles

Best Song: “The Family Way”

Their Best Song Ever: “Obscurity Knocks”

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Head Wound City – A New Wave Of Violence

Uh, Head Wound City is not recommended for your next BBQ. A New Wave Of Violence reminds me of the old Bad Religion song, “The Positive Aspects of Negative Thinking”–not necessarily in sound, but in sentiment. The world is a mess. HWC is throwing punches, and is going to leave a mark on the Armageddon.

Rating: 4 out of 5 whistles

Best Song: “Closed Casket”

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All artists are available on iTunes, Amazon, GooglePlay, and wherever else better music is sold, streamed, downloaded, or performed on tour.

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Lead-In Image Courtesy of spfotocz / Shutterstock.com

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NewsWhistle music contributor Chad Werner is “ahead of the curve, behind the times.” You can contact this rock n’ roll sphinx at chad@newswhistle.com (e-mail) or @scooternotmoped (Twitter).